Corey Feldman by any other name...

My little baby Eden puts everything in her mouth.
As six-month olds go, this is fairly common. But li'l E kind of takes it to a whole other level. Obsessive. Por ejemplo, her first action after she slipped out of my womb was to try to eat the receiving blanket. Nowadays, with tongue hanging out, and with a feverish look in her eye she goes after shoes, keys, the floor, sunglasses, pinecones, framed pictures, the cat's tail, her sister's feet (look mom! Eden likes to eat my toes!) she can now inch her way over to the dog's bowl for a little munch on "Active Large Breed." Beyond that, if I haven't pinned her little arms inside the sling, she holds her arms out, hands open as I walk around, hoping to swipe something from somewhere we pass and slobber it up. Kind of like a sea anemone. Only she's the one moving around. Okay, so not really like a sea anemone, but whatever. The point is, I've thought for a while that "Mouth" would really suit as a nickname.
Not only is it appropriate, but kind of burly, which I like, and it would serve as a daily reminder of The Goonies and what is surely the performance of Corey Feldman's career.
I digress.

My point is, I know that despite my best efforts, “mouth” is not going to stick, but this brings me to the larger topic that is naming in general.
Alongside my amazement that we babymakers get to keep these eight-pound balls of helplessness without any sort of credential or training is my amusement at the name game. We get to decide what they will be called all their lives, for better or worse. Speaking of which, look who’s six!

So, my apologies to all you children who spend a large percentage of your young lives correcting people on the spelling and proper pronunciation of your moniker. (It’s m-o-r-d-e-c-a-i.) And again to all you Aragorns and Frodos and Aowens, whose nursery is decorated like Middle Earth. Maybe they got a little carried away.
Good thing we didn’t have a boy to call John Wayne Jones.